The Land of Ashes
As the sun was beginning its journey to bring light to the other side of the world, I sat in my rocking chair letting the breeze prophecy, soaking up the first quiet moment in weeks. I inhaled, thankful for the way the wind reminded me that I’m not alone…
There she was in the distance beneath the street sign reading “Ashland”. Her dark hair blowing in the wind and as she waved I smiled reflecting on the beauty approaching me despite all she’d endured.
The gate creaked as it opened and I said “You know, I’ve lived on this street for over 5 years and am just realizing I live on Ashland- aka the Land of Ashes.”
Sensing my sarcasm, she smiled, sat in the rocking chair beside me, and quietly watched the planes fly over the horizon .” Then she looked at me and said “Where are you coming from and where are you going?”
Stunned because I knew those words were not said to her but to her arch-rival Hagar, I looked at her and said “I’ve always wanted to ask…”
For the next few hours, we talked about disappointment, stagnant dreams, unfulfilled desires, and everything in between.
She said something I’ll never forget:
“The absence of the miracle you’re hoping for is a lonely feeling. And what I know now that I wish I knew then is that He loves me enough to wait beside me.”
So this one’s for the ones still roaming in the land of ashes. For the wandering ones and for the ones who feel behind. For the ones human enough to experience jealousy and disappointment and feeling like you’re missing out… May we be confident ashes will not always be the story. And that wandering is okay and getting lost is normal, because He’s El Roi, ‘the One who sees me.’ And at the end of each day when our human hearts get the best of us and our disappointment tries to swallow us whole, may we reach for the hem of His robe, knowing Jesus is the only one capable of filling the hole… And though the hole of a stagnant dream feels like a steep mountain to climb, may we be reminded that the wind of His closeness is not just something to embrace at the top, but every step in between.
“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there.”
Psalm 34:18 MSG