The Dance of Waiting

That’s the thing about disease, it feels quiet and sometimes if you squint your eyes and you laugh really hard, you’ll forget it’s there for a minute. The world around you rarely notices it and those that do don’t know how to bring it up. Symptoms worsen and just when you figure out a new way to carry it all, you have to adjust. You’re familiar with miracles because your entire existence has been defined by one, yet the dance with waiting can’t be memorized, tripping you, bringing you back to your knees… but it’s okay because you haven’t been one to enjoy dancing anyway… and you remember the woman who touched the hem of his robe was probably on her knees a lot too… crying, praying, wondering, but mostly waiting. And you wonder what her dance with waiting looked like? Did she scream? Did she busy herself? 

I think maybe that’s the whole point of this trust thing. When it hurts and it stings and when you want something more than anything in this entire world, the only thing you can do is believe that God is loyal… so loyal that He won’t ever leave. In the dance, in the tripping, in the adjusting, He never goes anywhere… And I’m thankful for it. 

“‘Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew‬ ‭11:28-30‬ ‭MSG‬‬