Still Waters are Ahead

“So what do you do when you fully expect a miracle and it doesn’t happen?”

You press on, knowing there are still waters ahead… Parts of you are so broken they seem impossible to fix. Other parts of you are so angry you want to fight everyone just for the sake of feeling SOMETHING. The only thing I know to do in this season is kneel before the Lord completely broken, angry, and hurt, and ask him to put me back together. This could take weeks, or months, but most likely years. And as I sit here completely empty, I know in God’s precious time and in His divine ways, He will fill me up again. I’m thankful God specializes in exchanging beauty for ashes. I’m thankful He really is close to the brokenhearted. I can choose to keep my hurt captive by being a victim or I can choose to set my brokenness free by kneeling before the one who now holds my baby in his arms with kindness…

The hurt I am experiencing is no match for His love. His arms embrace me, His word encourages me, and His presence calms me.

I can choose to listen to intimidating statistics that say the odds are not in our favor to have children. I can bow down to the lie that says God is mad at me. Or I can cling to the flawless truth that the same God who walked through fire and split seas open is the is the same God who holds my heart in the palm of His hand.

So this morning I may be waking up with an empty womb and an even more empty heart but someday I will look back at this season and see nothing but the fingerprint of Jesus.”

If you have experienced loss whether that be from losing a child or any other type of deep pain, I wish I could sit knee to knee with you and weep together. I wish we could link arms and tell each other “Against hope, let’s keep hoping…”